Passing the Test

30 hours after my Lasik evaluation, I think my eyes are finally no longer dilated. Of course it's dark outside so I can't really know for sure, I've kind of forgotten what my pupils usually look like.

Over the course of my 6 months at Big G's Eye Center, I've seen a lot of people get Lasik evaluations. They've gone in looking normal and come out with alien pupils and hopeful smiles. I was slightly more excited than the other Lasik candidates I've seen, that's just kind of my way. I also had it on good authority that it was kind of a sure thing, it wasn't as much an evaluation as finding out how much of my cornea to tell the laser remove.

They took scans to map the contour of the various surfaces of my eye, which only consisted of looking into a handful of bright lights. The doctor took advantage of my chemically altered pupils to look at my eye through some sort of magnifying glass that managed to angle the bright light directly into my brain.

My actual eyeballs were only touched at 2 points, when they checked my eye pressure and when they measured the thickness of my cornea. Which was 5.3. I'm not sure what I have 5.3 of, but I'm guessing it's not inches. Evidently it's enough whatevers to have enough cornea to shave off a little and still have some left.

The cornea measuring thing was the most interesting part. The tech brought in what looked like an old school palm pilot with a probe thing attached. She put the end of the probe against my (numbed) eye, the machine beeped, and my cornea was measured.

It was somewhat anticlimactic, I mostly just sat in the exam chair and stared straight ahead. And now I get to wear my glasses for another couple weeks, until my surgery on the 18th. I'm fairly certain they'll be the most painful 2 weeks of my life, seeing as how my glasses are not exactly my current prescription and that I just hate wearing them in general. Although one of the ophthalmologists in the practice told me that they don't detract from my overall attractiveness. Which, despite being nice of him to say, was slightly weird.

So for the next 2 weeks I will pretty much only be able to talk about my hatred of my glasses, my upcoming Lasik, and my eyeballs in general. Which I learned are larger than average due in part to my nearsightedness. Turns out those who can't see much beyond their own noses can take comfort in the fact that they get to have alien eyeballs.

All-in-all, not as scary as I'd expected. So far, that is.